Tips on dating a single dad
As a single dad wading back into the dating pool, Daniel Ruyter was surprised how many women lost interest when he revealed, always in the first conversation, that he had a son."At first I took it personally," said the Orlando, Fla., information technology analyst, who was 32 when he divorced and got joint custody of his then 5-year-old son.
In early 2011, after almost 10 years of marriage, I found myself divorced, single, in my mid-30s and (gasp!! For the first year and a half of my new “singleness” I shunned the thought of dating.Not to mention, you are both employed in some way or another and have a multitude of life, family and work commitments to work around. As your relationship grows you will become a priority, but when it’s new, you will be second fiddle to his kids.It’s hard enough to date as an “adult”, but throw in someone else’s child or children and, whoa! While dating, I met and spent time with a few single dads and some single guys with no children. And, if you are OK with that, and understand his commitment, he will respect you and be willing to give more of his time to you.One alternative is to try to meet someone through a website for dating single parents.By taking personality tests and relationship questionnaires, you can be more particular about the people who you go on dates with, so looking for love online through a site such as the e Harmony, and others could help you to meet people who you have more in common with. As a single parent, you need to be honest about your situation.
It’s not for everyone, but this article offers dating advice for single parents as well as reasons why you shouldn’t rule out dating someone who has children from a previous relationship. You may have been unlucky in love in the past, but it is time to start thinking positively about finding love and meeting someone special.
Unless you are in a committed, long-term relationship then discretion is the name of the game when dating as a single father. There are plenty of women out there that have no connection to your children’s lives. There are landmines everywhere once you start dating within your kids’ social circle, just don’t. You shouldn’t be introducing a woman to your kids until you’re in a committed LTR with her, period. If you feel she is LTR worthy, and she has earned the right to meet your kids, then introduce her to them as your “girlfriend.” This label is important, kids need to know who this person is.
Remember, your kids are your first priority, your dating life comes after that. Calling her your “friend” just confuses them because they know there is more to it, kids are perceptive. If you’re not calling her your “girlfriend” then she doesn’t exist to your children.
Single moms, in contrast, preferred dating men without kids to reduce complications.
Single fathers have a tendency, more than single moms, to "feel incomplete" without a partner in the house, so they risk rushing into a new relationship that may not be right, said single dad Armin Brott, author of several books on fatherhood including "The Single Father: A Dad's Guide to Parenting Without a Partner" (Abbeville).
Many women wonder why it didn't work out with their first go around or assume that they made a mistake in their past relationship.