Smarter advice for dating relationship question
Our breakup was a decision I felt good about for several reasons.The relationship was long distance, but mostly, it was unhealthy.
It is a true honor to be among these amazing bloggers!But still, the wave of instant relief I felt when it was over only lasted for a little while—eventually it was replaced with the realization that I had how to date. The point is, I realized I was 24 and I'd never met someone outside of a classroom or a campus—I'd never locked eyes with a handsome nobody across a crowded bar, or had a meet-cute in the park with a beautiful stranger like movies and TV shows taught me dating in my 20s would be like.It's not that I was in a rush to get back into a relationship, but I still found myself having anxiety about how I would meet people when I was ready to put myself back out there.I'd spent two post-grad years listening to my friends complain about dating in the real world, and despite my own quiet unhappiness, I still remember thinking to myself, "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this." Until, suddenly, I did. I'll give you the run-down of what my dating life was like in the time that followed.I joined Tinder and Ok Cupid at the suggestion of friends, swiping furiously even though I had no idea what I was looking for in a partner other than "cute" and "nice." (Riveting, I know.) As a result, I wound up facing harassment and meeting—and either having bad experiences with, or being hurt by—a lot of people.There’s the story of thesmart women, let me explain.
No man goes out to a bar, to a nightclub, to a strip club for that matter to meet an intelligent woman.
ALISON WOOD BROOKS: So this belief that if you go to ask for advice from someone they’re going to think you’re incompetent and you can’t complete the task on your own is misplaced.
In our studies, we had people ask advisers for advice or not, and it turns out our lay beliefs are completely wrong.
The research shows we shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help. SARAH GREEN CARMICHAEL: So our topic today is communication and more specifically, asking for advice and asking questions at work.
Francesca Gino and Alison Wood Brooks, both of Harvard Business School, explain. So I want to dive right into your research on this.
We actually view people who seek our advice as much more competent than people who forego the opportunity to seek advice.