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Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you.
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If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.