Parents against dating
I’m going to briefly use myself as an example, since I never, ever do that.
On the other hand, I can't change who I am or who I like. We eat condensed soup from a can–sometimes, literally from the can. At least once a week, I’m too tired to cook so I let my kids “forage” for dinner.When I decided that I wasn’t going to pursue screenwriting anymore and that I was going to film school to be a professor, my parents supported me…. Still, I’d be remiss if you thought I was suggesting that all parental wisdom is worthless.When I told them I was dropping out of film school to promote “I Can’t Believe I’m Buying This Book” and E-Cyrano, and was going to make my way as a dating coach, my parents supported me. I may have broken their hearts and drained their wallets and destroyed their dreams of having a professional son, but they knew that I was driven and competent and had to find my own way. If you love your parents, you probably want to make them happy. YOU are the one who has to live daily with the consequences of her own decisions. Sometimes, we are so blinded by love that we can unwillingly steer our lives into a ditch.And unless a person is young age, nothing spiritually or emotionally good comes from dating in your teens.
I felt called to write about this because it seems kids today are dating at earlier and earlier ages.
What do you do when your parents don’t approve or feel that the person you love/dating is the right person for you? And while I like to maintain a separation between church and date, I don’t think your culture can be entirely ignored here. So if your parents are super-caring and attentive, they’re likely to be overprotective.
Do you respect their wishes and find someone who is welcome at home and around your family, or do you follow your heart and stay with the person you love even if your parents may not attend the wedding? I’ve explored this concept before, in relation to successful women, but I think it applies to Judaism as well. If they’re intelligent, they’re likely to be opinionated.
And I’m okay with that, because I LOVE our jello-for-dinner and Spongebob-laden family culture.
But there’s one decision my husband and I have made as parents that’s decidedly countercultural, and will no doubt earn us the title of “Freakish Catholic Zealots” as our kids get older: we’re NOT going to allow our teenage children to date. Because there’s really only one legitimate–and by that, I mean edifying–purpose to dating: to find a spouse.
If they’re the CHOSEN people, they’re likely to look upon others as NOT chosen people. Maybe he’s got a tattoo of a skull over his left eye.