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If your date was very smooth, very charming, and disappeared without a trace, he likely decided that you were too good a person to be put through his wringer. This doesn’t make him a terrible person, as we all feign pleasure with people at various points in the day/week. Why doesn’t he call and tell you he was pretending to be into you the entire date? He may kiss you and think, “that was awesome” or he may be less thrilled.The first few dates are about trying each other on, and seeing if there is a connection.
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I’ll talk to you soon.” You float up the stairs, collapse on the couch, and POOF, you never hear from him again. In the midst of such rejection, it may be hard to consider what has happened with a cool head. It presents the risk of a “real relationship” with love and risk and emotional openness. Why doesn’t he call and tell you he is an emotional midget and won’t be asking you out anymore? This does not necessarily make them a bad person; it’s just that these men aren’t in the place where love, family, and commitment sound attractive to them. Surely, you say, he wasn’t pretending to be into me. I’m just not into her.” His next thought is a lightening fast calculation with the end goal being – escape with minimal drama. As they say, “Dating isn’t tidily winks.” Dating isn’t being pals. Dating is a process for finding a person with whom you want to have an emotional and sexual relationship.
But there are several reasons why a guy might go poof, and in almost every case, you should call and thank him. A player (and we use that word for lack of a better one) generally prefers a particular kind of woman — someone who is a little in on the game. In many cases the result of this calculation is “smile, put aside your criticism, focus on the good stuff, and it will be over soon.” So we’re not saying he was pretending to have a good time. He might have even said a few things he didn’t really mean, just to get to the end of the date. So, going out with a man who makes interesting conversation, holds your hand, and kisses you at the end of the night tells you nothing about his assessment of your chemistry.
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