Dating a man with teenagers
I had dated a man with two children that he had every other weekend and it did not work out mostly because of the way their mother was raising them.The amount of influence you have over the children as a stepparent is limited and you always feel like you are walking on eggshells when it comes to discipline.
I'm posting about this because, sure, advice & feedback is great, but I also want to be able to help & relate to other women going through what I am. So because of this, of course he is a wonderful dad. But ladies, if you didn't know this already, know it now: YOU WILL NEVER BE FIRST.We currently spend maybe a few hours once/week & it's always on a work night.One year in, I feel as though I deserve more time than this. He will never have the passionate love for me that he has for his kids.Here’s a snippet of conversation between a single parent and their 17-year-old. ”“It’s a long story.”“What do you mean it’s a long story? It’s an almost standard conversation between parent and child about dating. ”Many of us — the dating divorced — find ourselves experiencing a very interesting role reversal as we head out the door on a weekend evening. But I’ll probably be back late.”“Who are you going out with? Someone you don’t know.”“Where did you meet this friend? Such are the joys of dating when you have an older teen/young adult under the same roof, watching as you come and go, watching (or at least wondering) with whom you go out and with whom you might come back. Why do you continue to annoy me with these questions?They are, in their own ways, watching over us, asking (at times aggressively) the very same questions we asked them, the very same questions our parents asked us many years ago. Those questions we felt obligated to ask as good, responsible parents are coming back to haunt us.
How many women find themselves at the receiving end of their daughter’s clipped comment, “You’re wearing on a date?
Culver City psychotherapist Janis Rosenberg cautions the divorced to “go slow” when they begin dating and says it’s hard, especially for teens, to see their parents as sexually active people.“While many children might wish their parents would get a social life, it’s important to be sensitive and monitor their reaction to your dating activities and your dates,” Rosenberg says. With online dating sites, there’s the risk we might see our children’s profiles — or they might see ours! Internet-savvy children can wander through our web activities the same way they once searched in the closets for Christmas presents. My own response to friends who have asked about my new single life has been to say that it reminds me of dating in high school, but there are important distinctions: No one worries about school nights, we all have smart phones and no one’s a virgin.
And yet, with our children tracking our every move, many of us now find ourselves with the one thing we didn’t expect: a new “parent” watching as we walk out the door — wondering when (at what time and perhaps with whom) we’ll return. I don’t take it too seriously — until she wants me to meet the guy. Marrying was a big transition, since his new wife has kids and we spend holidays together.
17 is a rough age, and daughters are VERY protective of their dads. This past weekend she was supposed to go to her moms, and on those occasions(when we have the house alone) we do sleep together, however, when she is home, we do not. No you don't If you did, you'd leave and sleep at your own house when she sleeps over at his.
That's HER time with her dad and you are in the way. I'm not in a popluarity contest with her over him, I would never dream of coming between anyone and their child, period.
Leave your feelings out of it and don't make the mistake of putting pressure on him to defend you to her - you are only his girlfriend, not his new wife, and she should be his priority when they are together. Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum.